


Before the World Fell

by LeChatRouge673



Series: Cat's Song [10]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 02:43:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeChatRouge673/pseuds/LeChatRouge673





	Before the World Fell

_Hello from the outside_   
_At least I can say that I've tried_   
_To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart._

 

-“Hello” by Adele  


* * *

 

_28 August, 9:40 Dragon_

 

“I should have known that, if anyone could find me out here, it would have been you.”

“It was not that difficult,” Loghain replied quietly as he approached, standing beside Theadosia as she gazed out over the sea. She was still wearing the black dress she had worn during the service for Bryce and Eleanor, and the weak summer breeze that rose up from the waves was teasing at the tendrils of auburn hair that had escaped her carefully pinned up braids. She rarely wore her hair down anymore, which was almost a sin, but he suspected he knew why she didn't. “I simply had to look in the one place you weren't supposed to be.”

Her answering laugh was hollow. “If they really wanted to keep me off this stretch of beach, they would use better locks on the gates,” she retorted, her lips twisting wryly. “Besides, I'm in mourning. They will leave me be.

“I very much doubt they would be foolish enough to bother you even if you were not,” he observed. “I… I suppose I wanted to come and offer my condolences, now that you are not surrounded by people. I have spoken with Cataline and Fergus, but you had already disappeared. However, since I imagine you came out here to be alone-”

“Stay.” The word was as much a command as a request, despite the softness with which it was spoken. Theadosia had always had a gift for that. There was a reason she was rarely told 'no.’ She did not pull her gaze away from the horizon as he moved back to her side and he wondered what, exactly, she was hoping to find beyond the lines of sea and sky.

“Theadosia,” he spoke quietly, “You have to allow yourself time. I know you are angry, but you are hurting as well, and you will be no good to anyone if you break. I think I know that better than most.”

“You’re damn right I’m angry, but I do not have the luxury of time, nor grief,” she replied, her voice wavering ever so slightly. “Cat and Fergus need me; especially Cat, and now we have the company to run as well. Until she has time to process her pain, I will be doing that alone, because it will be a cold day in the void before I trust so much as a paperclip to Rendon Howe.” Theadosia sighed, and Loghain saw her posture falter slightly; had to resist the urge to reach out and steady her with a hand to the small of her back. “I promised Uncle Bryce and Aunt Eleanor I would take care of Cat, and I keep my promises.”

“Yes, Theadosia. You always do,” he looked at her, and she finally turned to face him with a sad smile on her lips. Loghain knew damn well they were both remembering a promise made too long ago; one they both regretted keeping.

“Even when I don't want to,” she murmured in agreement to the words he had not spoken. “I have to stay strong for them, Loghain, you know I do.”

Against his better judgement, he took a step closer to her. “No one would ever accuse you of being weak, Theadosia, least of all me. But that does not mean you are not allowed to mourn.”

“Damn it,” she swore under her breath, “It is not that simple.”

“Nothing ever is.”

He held out a hand to her, and when she accepted it she stepped into his arms. Her head fell against his chest as, finally, the tears began to fall. It had been almost two years since he had held her; since he had been allowed to see anything other than the Theadosia that belonged to the rest of the world. As she sobbed quietly, he ran a gentle hand up and down her back, knowing full well his heart would pay for this moment later. The pain would be worth it, however, if he could just grant her this brief respite from the nightmare she was living in. Theadosia guarded her emotions jealously, and it was rare that she ever allowed herself to be seen as vulnerable; to allow her strength to fail for even a breath of time. He knew this was a bittersweet gift; a trust he no longer deserved.

She took a deep breath as she stepped away, wiping her eyes. He reached into his pocket and handed her his handkerchief, which she accepted with a small, grateful smile.

“Thank you,” she sniffed as she dabbed the last traces of tears away. When she offered it back, he shook his head.

“Keep it,” he said softly. “I think you will need it more in the days to come.”

“Probably,” she admitted with a slight grimace. “Ugh. I hate crying.”

“I know, Theadosia. I know.” And he knew what he had to say next, even as it broke him to speak the words. “Go. Go find Cullen. Go home. Eat something. Get some sleep.”

Theadosia's storm blue eyes met his, but before she could argue he gently cupped her face in his hands, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Find Cullen. Go home.”

She breathed one last sigh, and her hand went to her locket. Part of him could not believe she still wore it; a greater part of him knew she always would. Theadosia arched up onto her toes and brushed a kiss against his cheek.

“Goodbye, Loghain.”

He watched as she turned and walked back up the beach, back towards the cemetery and to the pain and responsibility she would have to bear.

“Goodbye, Theadosia.”

_I’m sorry_.

 

 

 


End file.
